You might be thinking what do I mean by this exactly… but light can refer to anything in life that brings out a spark in you, makes someone smile or feel good about themselves even.
I experienced this with my music ie. practicing my flute. I stopped playing the flute for 20 years and then only recently in the last 3 years started playing it again, so I was out of practice at first, but decided to teach myself from books for a while to get up to scratch, where I left off at Grade 6 when I was at school, then had lessons too for a couple of years once my kids went to school, and I love it. I just can’t get enough of it. Since about 3 weeks ago, I started a new habit and told myself I would practice 10 minutes a day as I had gotten particularly slack at practicing over the past 6 months and really didn’t want to let it slide… I surprised myself and stuck to it – and it really does feel amazing being able to do what I love every day even if for a short time. What I have noticed is that some of the time I end up playing for longer than 10 minutes – it is quite addictive – which really has proved my passion for music, as well as my love for singing.
Music really has become a part of me, part of how I manage my everyday life, how I validate myself when no-one else is around to listen. I now use music as a tool to help me get through the day in the best way possible, even if it is to slow down and meditate sometimes too. There are some songs that are really heart warming to listen to, and also uplifting, depending on how I am feeling.
As I do spend a lot of time alone, I have to find ways of meeting my needs, and finding a way to express myself and be understood without needing to talk to anyone else about it is an important need of mine, we are human beings after all and need to find a healthy outlet to express ourselves.
As a mum, it’s really hard to keep trudging through life doing the same thing day in day out, the same routine, taking the kids to school, doing all the washing, cooking and cleaning. I have learnt that unless you stop doing these things for a certain period of time (even if for 10 minutes!), these chores just never seem to end, and can be very draining physically and mentally too.
Our minds need stimulation to give us energy and happiness, so it’s really important for each one of us to find that thing we love to do and do it every single day, stick it in your diary, make time for it, and then suddenly, you will find time. And maybe you will be inspired to pick another new habit you would like to practice in your life, and add that into your schedule. We all need structure in our lives and not to feel stuffy within all these seemingly closed walls around us. We must knock these walls down bit by bit, slowly one step at a time, one new habit at a time, to breathe in some fresh air, to see more clearly, to think more clearly about what it is you want to get out of life. We have been blessed with one life, so we should try to make the most of it whilst we can…
Thought I would share this conversation I had with myself a few days ago….
“Fear is running riot in my head at the moment!”
“Sunday is not so far away now, the day that I have committed myself to perform in an open mike session playing 2-3 songs on my flute… ”
“Am I mad for doing this? Possibly a bit.”
“Shall I just not do it then, it’s so much easier than all of these pre-show nerves….!?”
“Well, the thing is, if I don’t do it, I won’t be able to work through that fear after all, and I might even enjoy it once I get into it! How do I know I won’t like it or be good at it if I don’t give it a try?”
Stepping into the unknown is REALLY scary, but I did my best leading up to a local open mike performance I committed myself to last week (with just a few day’s notice) to keep telling myself how excited I was about it since it generates a similar kind of emotion in our body as fear (as Mel Robbins talks a lot about)…. I really needed to give my mind something to feel positive about, to reduce the negative feelings of fear. Also, another tactic Bob Baker suggests is thinking of fear as some funny character to make it not seem so scary anymore, or just associate fear with something that makes you laugh, and not to let it make itself at home in your mind….
One of my biggest fears is performing in front of an audience, worrying about whether I will say or do the right thing, perform well, and what will everyone else think of me….. The only time I have performed like this is when I was in a band at school or else performed during exam conditions. So although I was extremely nervous but at the same time, I was really excited to start making my dreams come alive and was motivated to see what is on the other side of fear if I can manage to push through it. I didn’t want to let my fear of what could happen stop me, so I took the plunge and dived right in…..
It was a really fun evening connecting with other like-minded people, musicians and singers – so much talent amongst all the women that performed on the night. Having a place where we could all express ourselves through our love for music was brilliant – I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity!
Don’t let fear dictate your life, believe in yourself and what you have been blessed with, who knows what’s on the other side? You might be pleasantly surprised.
Multitasking is something as a mum I have always had to get used to doing, but it can get so overwhelming having so much to do at once. I don’t always know where to start, and as more things get added to the list, other things accidentally fall off the radar, especially if I don’t always manage to write it down on my task list. Multitasking is very draining and stressful too at times, so wherever possible, I do make a conscious effort to just focus on one thing at a time, even if the kids are around (though it is more challenging with all the interruptions and general chaos). It’s that much easier and more relaxing not having to worry about anything else but that one task, whatever it is you are trying to achieve in all areas of your life, which is why I am constantly building new little habits into my life that I can call mine and that slowly over time just become a part of me….
Time alone can be well-spent. It is a great opportunity to get to know yourself again, what your needs are in the moment and just finding that regular slot of time to fit you into the picture, to get to know you again, to validate yourself and meet your needs, even in a very small way. Even if you don’t have the luxury of alone time all the time, if you can spare a few minutes at a time during the day to focus on an activity, or just a little quiet time, anything at all. To distance yourselves from the voices around you really helps clear your mind, to hear your own voice – it does help to make you feel more calm, and bring you back to the essence of who you are, not being defined by anyone else but yourself, to help you figure out your next steps, recharge your batteries, to be able to face the music as it “plays” throughout the day.