How much do you love yourself?

I bet some of you are cringing now thinking what on earth am I asking that question for, this isn’t something people normally ask themselves or other people even, or maybe this question sounds strange to you and makes you feel uncomfortable in some way…. My guess is that a lot of you are probably thinking in your head “We can’t surely love ourselves, love is reserved for something or someone else!”

Studying my own mind has been so fascinating to me on my journey of personal growth and development, and based on personal experience, I don’t feel that this practice of self-love should only be restricted to people who are struggling with their mental health. Everyone can benefit from and is deserving of self-love!

Here is one of the main myths that simply isn’t true when it comes to self-love:

LOVING YOURSELF IS SELFISH.

You know what, it is selfish, but it’s the good kind!!! People often view selfishness in a negative light but it can be a good thing too to make sure your needs are covered too in a positive sense as well as other people’s.

The truth is that love for ourselves is so incredibly important – we mustn’t neglect our true selves and our everyday needs and desires to be loved and feel joy and happiness, it’s so easy to let it slide… It’s not wrong to prioritise your own needs. When we give ourselves the love we are deserving of, then we are able to feel more calm and give more love to those around us, and we have a bigger capacity for joy in our heart so we can experience life in a happier, more productive light, and which simply flows better.

When we sacrifice our own needs and always put other people’s needs and desires before our own, over time, once this has become a habit, we begin to forget about our own needs and somehow lose our connection to our real self and life doesn’t always flow in the way we want. This doesn’t feel good, especially when your health, happiness and well-being are at stake and can present itself in the form of anxiety and low energy all round.

Everyday, and not as a one off, we should be making self-love a priority as part of our routine and go about our daily lives making sure we look after ourselves, a couple of minutes at a time even, finding ways of making sure we are attending to and validating our needs, our desires and our emotions.

Self-love is about really connecting with yourself, tuning into your emotions, making your happiness a priority, even when things aren’t quite going your way – it is about finding those ways to increase that positive flow of energy within you that makes you feel comforted, supported and loved. It is more than just how you present yourself on the outside – it is about having a conscious awareness of the daily moments in life and how you can tune back into love in the decisions you make as you navigate your way through the day. It really is how you feel about yourself, even on both good and especially on bad days.

Through prioritising love for yourself, it helps to brighten your perspective of the world around you and helps guide you towards solutions and decisions that work best for you, that fit well within your version of life, the way you want to lead and shape your life. It helps give you more clarity of mind and calm, which is super important if you are someone who leads a hectic life and who gets easily overwhelmed.

“The wound is where the light enters you” quote by Rumi springs to mind here…. There is so much truth in this, you really do learn through the discomfort you feel and more importantly, through proactively taking those next steps necessary to help you to snap out of those discomforting, anxious feelings and low energy that negativity brings.

It doesn’t have to cost the earth, there are little ways you can validate and love yourself without breaking the bank. It could involve listening to a piece of music that aligns with how you are feeling, you might want to run yourself a relaxing bath with your favourite bubble bath and light some candles, do a high impact workout or maybe some stretching exercises, pamper yourself, drink a cup of tea in peace, eat a piece of dark chocolate, dance, sing, treat yourself to some flowers or clothes. You might need to go for a walk in the fresh air, have a much needed nap, slow down and breathe, or perhaps you may want to listen to some guided meditation or read a book. Time out isn’t just reserved for children, we all need time out during the day to help make ourselves feel that bit more refreshed to help you get through the rest of the day. It really doesn’t have to take any more than 10 minutes at a time if you have little time to spare.

Remember, you are worth making that time – go grab it whilst you are thinking about it, plan it in your diary, otherwise it’ll probably never happen… There is no time like the present when it comes to taking inspired action!

Life is full of curves and imperfections, just like us too, and the best thing we can do is embrace it all. None of us are perfect! Learn to recognise those imperfect moments, you can always choose love again. Once we learn to accept this, we can then look for the lessons in all of it, look for the opportunities that these imperfections have taught us, and go focus on that opportunity, that lesson, rather than what is not working, and take tiny steps towards reaching those opportunities, mingling with like-minded people that can help motivate you, taking up a new hobby or reigniting your passion for an old hobby even, introducing some new, healthy habits to nourish your mind, body and soul, all of which helps you to feel more energised, more uplifted and more loved inside.

Make embracing your happier self a habit and see how it changes your perspective.

Make the choice to feel good. Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life ❤️

What lessons have you learned this year?

As we are approaching the end of 2019, I thought I would gather my thoughts and reflect on this year in preparation for the year ahead.

What an incredibly challenging and at the same time inspiring year 2019 has been!!! I have really taken time this year to dig deeper into those things that fill me with joy and excitement, at the same time really helping to improve my energy and well-being and manage my everyday life in the best possible way. More importantly, I prioritised myself much more, and in doing so, I hope I have inspired others to do the same too ❤️

As well as trying to make sure I have enough rest and generally taking care of myself well enough, my self-care has also included making a conscious effort to love myself more, to develop my passions, those things that light up my soul and really help me feel connected to myself much more. All of which makes life feel more worth living, and which makes me feel alive!

Writing has really been a healing experience for me this past year as it has allowed me to access parts of myself that I haven’t been able to access before, further enhanced by the instrumental and classical music I often play behind the scenes whilst creating my book to spark more creativity and inspiration in my writing. Writing a book was always in the plan this year but what I didn’t know is that I would finish writing it a year after I had started writing my blog, ready to get it published the following year! Exciting times ahead…

I have also been on an exciting musical ride this year too in developing my passion for music in all forms, whether it is listening to music mindfully, playing my flute, or singing in a choir and karaoke style too. Incorporating music much more as part of my life has really helped me come out of my shell and improve my confidence and happiness in life, and for this, I’m filled with so much gratitude.

So…. as 2019 is approaching its end, I would like to share with you the key lessons I have learnt overall this year that each and every one of us too can take with us into 2020 to help make our lives more enjoyable and fulfilling:

  • Empower yourself to live the life you deserve, it’s the only way.
  • Be selfish, don’t deny yourself the love and respect you are worthy of.
  • Give yourself permission to dream and create the life you want to live. If you don’t allow it, how can it ever happen?
  • Embrace your imperfections and don’t let them define you, these are all the components that make up YOU. Accept and love them exactly as they are.
  • Embrace your passions and make them a part of your life, otherwise when will they ever happen? Time is short.
  • Celebrate your achievements and all that has brought you to where you are now.
  • Be proud of who you are, you can’t ever change who you were born to be.
  • Be thankful for all your experiences in life and for the lessons they have taught you.
  • Be thankful for and look after your health, you never know how long it’ll last.
  • Believe in yourself, have faith… how will you ever know you can do it if you don’t even try? Feel the fear and do it anyway.

On this note, I wish you all a healthy and happy 2020!!!

Hoping that this coming year brings all you wish for, and more. Remember, although it is a brand new year and it is a great opportunity to make a fresh start and create some nice,new healthy self-care habits, at the same time, don’t forget to continue to bring this feeling to every brand new day that comes afterwards too and make it your best xxx

Reconnecting with your inner self is like training a weak muscle

Earlier today, whilst I was at the car garage waiting for my car to be fixed, I was reading “Psychologies magazine” December 2019 reading the ‘Ask the expert’ page and Maiken Piil, a coach and energy healer, made this comment above, which made me think…

There is so much truth in this, reconnecting with your inner self is a real muscle that a lot of people aren’t aware or conscious of, but it is also important to exercise these muscles of our mind and soul as well as just making sure our bodies are fit and well. It’s how we feel about ourselves on the inside that makes all the difference and affects our perspective and behaviour in the outside world….

By reflecting on the decisions you make throughout the day every single day of your life, you can start to exercise those muscles of your mind and think about how your thoughts and beliefs might be dominating your mood, or your life even.

What decisions are you making for yourself about how you lead your life, and how might this be affecting the lives around you? What steps are you taking to get in touch with your desires? Are you taking steps to prioritise joy and your well being?

Mundanity can take over but it’s the little steps you can take to include snippets of fun, joy, positivity, love and laughter into your day too that can really light up your soul and make your day feel more fulfilling and help you get through the stress, struggles or challenges of the day.

Fill your day with light whenever you can – treasure your time, find those little moments ❤️

Brighten up your world

As someone who likes to see the practical side of things, connecting with the beauty of the Universe (in my mind) is just simply about aligning to our authentic, loving selves, nothing more, nothing less.

When I am connected to my own heart energy through my thoughts, actions and beliefs, I feel supported and guided in the right direction towards the path that is meant for me. Everyone is unique so we all have our individual stories and paths we are supposed to take too which gives us that feeling of purpose.

Listening to my intuition and being connected with my desires allows me to see myself in a brighter, more authentic light, and gives me the insight and opportunity to make a difference in the world, that space, that opportunity for creativity, which allows me to feel the light within me. With this loving presence around me, through heightening my self-awareness and faith in myself, I feel inspired to take the action and risks needed to bring about new, exciting opportunities to help me become the inspiration I want to become and create that life of my dreams. Even if there are obstacles and challenges that might get in the way!!!

What makes you feel inspired? What colours could you add to your life that will help you live in the way you dream about?

What difference could you make in this world to yourself and those around you?  Every little action counts – make your everyday life more meaningful and live with purpose! Life feels so much better this way…

Where do you think there could be opportunity for you to see or feel the light shining within you? Listen to your heart, what is it trying to tell you? Tap into that heart energy – it is very powerful!

Empower yourself (it’s never too late) and learn to live in joy, to feel abundant energy, spread light and bring magic and colour into other people’s lives, if not only for yourself, but also for those around you to help make the world a more beautiful, happy place to live in.

 

 

Kindness doesn’t cost a thing

I read the Smartest Giant in Town (by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffer) over the weekend to my little one and it really is such a really lovely, funny book for kids teaching them about kindness to others in need, gratitude and just being comfortable in your own skin.

It has a great “feel good” ending for the giant who was very unhappy at the beginning of the book about who he was and how he appeared, comparing himself to others and making himself feel like he had to look better than everyone else, but then seeing his happiness grow so much when he kept giving away a lot of his clothes to help others in need really highlights how it can make you feel when you show kindness to other people in everyday life.

Children’s books can contain inspiring messages that should be shared and taken on board also by parents and adults too as they relate to how they can too grow their mindset and improve the quality of their everyday life alongside the kids, or maybe you want to reminisce yourself as an adult and go buy those books you used to love reading as a child. Bring that childhood excitement, wonder and fun back into your life!

Although it can really uplift you to show lots of kindness, at the same time, it is important not to give so much that you end up feeling miserable yourself!

A very important lesson for us all ❤️

Let your life reflect your beauty within

I saw “Judy” last night at the cinema…

I must admit I thought it was going to be much more uplifting than it was, and it unfortunately didn’t highlight many of the positive, fun areas of her life as I would have liked, and was very much focused on her drug and alcohol addiction and her troubled life, with some singing on the side.

Nevertheless, it did highlight how little she took care of herself, and didn’t feel able to ask for help.

She was beautiful as she was without having to take all those appetite suppressants and drugs she was made to take as a child to keep her energy up to perform….

Unfortunately, she had very little experience of being loved by those that were close to her that she didn’t know how to love and appreciate herself. It is a deep shame she wasn’t accepted as she was in her natural beauty ❤️

Obstacles are detours in the right direction

As Gabrielle Bernstein said in her book “The Universe has my back”… but are obstacles really a detour in the right direction?

Life is such a test. It is so hard in the moment when you are experiencing these obstacles to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and we always seem to question ourselves when we are experiencing hardships and struggles in life…. why does this have to happen to me, I don’t deserve this, life is unfair.

So many obstacles have come my way that are out of my control over the past month relating to my health and the health of those around me, the house, this leak, the next leak, the dishwasher and fridge packing in within the space of 24 hours etc, all just before the Jewish New Year starts and I think to myself, what on earth is going on here for all of this to happen at once?!?

All I do know is that as hard as it is, I have to fight with positivity, I have to make sure I am showing gratitude for what I do have, what is going right, so that I can bring even more back into my life again, more sunshine and miracles.

There is a difference between pretending to be fine, and being positive and making that choice within to minimise negativity in your life. Positivity can give us much more strength to get through the challenges we face each day. It is the proactive choice we can make to feed our souls with positive thoughts to help change our subconscious thoughts and beliefs to help us make better choices for ourselves which relate to our individual happiness and health which must be prioritised.

Each and every day we are alive is a miracle, we have to acknowledge each and every one – we won’t always be able to experience it again for sure. Nothing is certain once the day has ended until we move onto the next day.

Each day is a new opportunity to start afresh and find our way out of the darkness into the light, put a bit of sparkle into your day, or even just to shut your eyes and visualise that light shining into your life, in whatever form it comes to you best.

Go create your own light to feed your soul, create a gratitude list, whether in the morning and/ or when you go to bed. Even if it’s just 3 things. Think about all the things you have that you can appreciate right now…. just take that moment and be thankful.

What can you be grateful for right now?

Here are of just a few things I thought of this morning to be grateful for today:

• I am grateful to be alive, for all the energy I do have and for all my body parts that are functioning.

• I am grateful for all the love in my life, my amazing family, husband and children, and friends.

• I am grateful for the food we have to eat and the freezer that still works in the meantime.

• I am grateful for electricity and gas, that enables me to cook food, and keep me warm.

• I am grateful for the house I get to live in, especially now it’s wintertime, and for my nice warm bed I get to sleep in.

Happy New Year to those celebrating Jewish New Year! And for everyone else too, wishing you all a sweet new year ahead and lots of love, joy, good health, happiness and smiles to come ❤️

 

How much do you value yourself?

How many times do we say “thank you” to ourselves for who we are, what we have achieved and the struggles we have gotten past or battling in this present moment?

Think about what you might do to thank someone else if they show kindness to you… what would you do?

It’s really important to say “thank you” to yourself for all those things you have achieved in life that you may have taken for granted, all the little things you do that may be part of your daily routine, the simple things sometimes…

Another thing to bear in mind, aside from also the things you might do for your family and friends in your life, is of course all your unique qualities (strengths or weaknesses), gifts and talents. This is something you can be proud of and grateful for, which can help you to boost your energy, happiness and joy.

We should never take ourselves for granted, or anyone else for that matter too. We have all been brought into this world for a reason, and must share our gifts and our real authentic selves as much as possible to live our happiest life possible…

So there is no need to hide in the darkness… Don’t be afraid to step into the light.

Most of us have let others determine our own worth in the past (including myself), whether we think we are good enough or not, and this can really have an impact later on in life how much we value ourselves and our everyday happiness.

This doesn’t have to be the case – having a good sense of self-worth is really important and shouldn’t be ignored!!! Praise and gratitude (I realise now) doesn’t always have to come from someone else, it can come from within yourself especially if you make a habit of doing it – it really does help to make you feel stronger as a person too.

Don’t wait for others to appreciate you as it may never come or come in the way you expect it to – just because you put time and effort into something, it doesn’t mean it’ll be appreciated. So we just need to be grateful for what we have, make the best use of it and treat it with kindness and love.

Think about the kindness you give to others, turn it inwards and give it to yourself.

Learn the difference between what you are getting and what you deserve. YOU are W-O-R-T-H-Y of being appreciated and of the beauty life has to offer!!!

Are you listening to your body signals?

I decided to re-read Chapter 7 of “The Universe has your Back” book today by Gabrielle Bernstein which talks about clearing the path for certainty to make room for what you desire, as I would like to start developing some healthier habits for myself after neglecting myself more than I would like during the school holidays… Though I did keep a few little habits going over the past 6 weeks, it just wasn’t enough, and not what my body and mind needed.

Time to get my energy back up again as best as I can whilst I have my littlest one still with me (my big kids are back at school) whilst he naps in the car or plays in the soft play area… whatever little chunk of time I can grab.

At the start of the new school year, and the end of a long summer holiday with all the kids, my body has been sending me strong signals that it has had enough, especially first thing this morning. I just felt so exhausted and in pain too. My body was crying out “Stop!!”….

I decided to listen really carefully to myself this time.

I realised that I urgently need to tune back into the energy of love. Like a radio station, our bodies also have a frequency which controls the experiences we have in our everyday lives. And in the same way we can tune into whatever radio frequency we like, we can do that with our bodies and minds if we choose to, which helps to keep our negative experience of life to a minimum. Though it doesn’t get rid of them completely. Fear has a funny way of getting to us sometimes, and we can still lose our way, our mojo, our lively spirit, get stressed, overwhelmed etc but the important thing is to get back up again to the place you feel happiest, enjoying life and feeling good in yourself.

I really must slow down and let my body recover somewhat. Aside from a couple of late nights recently, I have also lately been dipping a lot more into fear and negative self talk lately as I’ve had a stressful time potty training my toddler and just managing my kids generally over the summer holidays, plus also, the limited self-care I have given myself over the holidays has just tipped me over the edge and it’s taken a toll on my body and my energy. It’s just really hard work with three kids, more stressful, more to juggle, more food to cook, more clothes to wash, dishes to clean, the list goes on. But I push through it somehow in the best way I can as this is all I can do.

I also realise that I lost a little faith over the holidays too as I didn’t have so much time to focus on myself and my goals. So I have now made some positive decisions for myself, that involve the need to bring back my newfound faith in myself, and also to tune back into the energy of love and faith in the Universe as a whole. New beginnings are coming this month, especially for me as my littlest one is approaching the start date for his new nursery, life is full of change as it evolves and somehow, we have to learn to adapt to it all and embrace the future that lies ahead however imperfect it may look right now.

The important thing right now is that we regain that connection with ourselves, with our goals, our vision for the future, so that you can go and be that person right now instead of trying to search for the right time, the right moment. We have to trust that our plan for the future will happen as it is meant to happen at the right time, but in the meantime, it is important to tap into that energy of joy to be able to see more clearly, to feel more excited about what’s next to come, and make yourself a top priority in life.

Listen to your body, go and do what you need to do to get your energy and joy back up – self-care is absolutely necessary and a priority, not a luxury!!!

How connected do you really feel?

As a mum and someone who is now living in an era where technology is just everywhere – even our central heating and lights can be controlled by the internet (very frustrating when the internet is down which happens occasionally), so it is very hard to escape technology completely. And so we have to make a conscious effort to switch off, otherwise like housework, it is relentless the amount of time you can spend surfing the web or using any kind of social media if you don’t discipline yourself to stop.

On one hand, it is amazing how we can connect with like minded people from all over the world in an instant, but on the other hand, we can find ourselves easily lost in the world of the internet if we are not careful and forget about what it’s actually like to have human connection in your life.

Having easy access to technology can really make you think you are well connected but in fact, it’s not always the connection we really need as a human being. It’s not easy being a mum, as there is a lot of time spent alone in your own company working around the restricted time frame of school hours or holiday camps, or maybe you are waiting for the time the kids are in bed before you can connect with friends whether by phone or getting out of the house and interacting face to face with them. Maybe you have a baby or toddler like me who at this stage, don’t know many people with little ones the same age as my toddler, and need to entertain your child on your own and manage them all day long, all the highs and lows included. It is really hard on your sanity, and so there is such a constant need to relax and uplift, plus you do have to become more picky about which battles to fight and which to let go of. I realise that over the years as a mum, I have really missed simple old-fashioned human connection, the adult conversation, the mental stimulation and laughs to help me get through my day.

This is why I decided to run a weekly Summer Karaoke club during the school holidays (which are normally so very intense), as aside from helping to relieve my stress, I wanted to make live human connections with friends and like minded people who can feed off each other’s energy, fulfil a sense of belonging, and just release any tension and have some fun and sing without fear of being judged in a really warm environment and in small groups which are always nice too. And even though not everyone knows each other, we all get along well as we can share our own experiences of motherhood, let off some steam, and just get lost in the moment, and sing along and dance to our favourite tunes in our own private room.

Don’t let your human connections slide and technology control your life and relationships (it is very easily done as it is so addictive)…. Instead, take whatever action necessary to deepen your connections with real people too away from the distraction of technology, and focus on the task or activity or hobby you are doing one at a time wherever possible, and more importantly, enjoy the moment. It is these little mindful habits and moments we can create for ourselves that help determine the focus of our lives and help you to shine a light on each day.

How can you lose yourself in the moment, and form better connections with yourself and/or other people in the world around you?