Soak in that sunshine

As I was at the supermarket anyway spending some money to get free parking, I treated myself with these beautiful flowers today I couldn’t resist buying, which really helps to “paint” my day in a brighter colour… it is just the start of the school holidays, so this is well needed!!!

What are you doing to celebrate you today? Find a short window of time today to do or maybe even something little for you, to appreciate everything that you are, that you can bring to your the world around you, to your friends and families, co-workers, what can you take a moment to do and appreciate about you? Just for a few minutes at a time…. And just do it spontaneously without more than a second’s thought. Soak in that sunshine – you are worth it all!!!!

Don’t let music disappear from your life

Saddened by the decline in music education and literacy in schools, I would like to highlight the extremely important role that music has played in my life.

In primary school, I learned to play the piano (to Grade 1), then in secondary school, I decided to learn to play the flute until I was 18 years old (to Grade 6) then unfortunately, when I went to university, I stopped playing the flute for about 20 years. Whilst at secondary school, I enjoyed participating in a choir and band, I just loved the community spirit of being in a group with like minded people. In primary school, I remember enjoying my music classes most of the time, especially singing and dancing along with my classmates. I also have lots of memories of me lying down in my room for hours on end listening and singing to music on my stereo system using records and cassettes (in the days of older technology) reading from the little lyric booklets that usually came along as a standard with cassettes I bought. Singing is so therapeutic, so much fun and great for your health – such a great way to destress and unwind.

Fast forward 20 years later, I have gotten so much more joy and value as an adult from having learnt to play an instrument at school, being introduced to both the flute, and the keyboard too. If I hadn’t learnt to play an instrument when I was younger, then it would have been very difficult to start to learn a new instrument now (though not impossible).  Because of this, I can still bash out a decent tune to the music I love; fortunately, I hadn’t completely forgotten the notes and how to read sheet music. Initially, to get back to the level I was back then, I did have to work hard to remind myself of everything and teach myself for a while before I decided to get some weekly tutoring. Now my daughters are playing piano and I can help them out and listen to their playing to check they are playing the right notes, reading the music correctly, and sticking to the beat as it is written on the sheet music. I can even play along with the flute sometimes. Maybe one day we will form a family band…

Music of all types, whether listening, singing along, or playing an instrument, has in the past year especially been such an amazing growth mindset tool to help motivate me, lift my energy, make me come alive and feel good in myself, validate my feelings (there is a song for everything); it also helps me relax and unwind, and just allows me to characterise and remember who I am, what I stand for and what I want and deserve to achieve in life.

Go find those tunes you used to love as a kid, that’s always a really good starting point to developing your own soundtrack and getting the most enjoyment out of life.

Have you ever gotten out of your comfort zone?

Have you always been one to hide out, to keep your voice down to avoid having to step out into the “big bad world” and face the music for what it actually is?  Oh, and the world isn’t all bad, there’s actually a lot of beauty that exists in this world if we look for it.

It’s incredible how our minds can stop us from achieving what we want in life purely by the thoughts we think, the words we say out loud, the positivity we breathe in and apply to our lives. If we believe we can’t do something, even if you have multiple reasons why you can’t do it, you have given yourself the justification for not going ahead with it, but it is often down to how we feel about ourselves, how worthy we feel we are of having this thing that you want to achieve in life.

It’s hard to believe but we do really stop ourselves from doing things, from living the life we want, stop ourselves from seeing new beginnings, new possibilities, new opportunities as these beliefs inside our head stop us from even seeing what is possible. Also, our mind stops us from seeing the value that people might even start to see in you once you start to value your own self, to love yourself as you are, as imperfect as you may be and just accepting all your flaws which cannot be changed, embracing them all, and use them as an opportunity to grow from it and make you stronger and wiser.

Just remember, your imperfections contribute to what makes up what is essentially YOU, the authentic amazing beauty of what is YOU, and nothing can ever change that.

Shine a light

You might be thinking what do I mean by this exactly… but light can refer to anything in life that brings out a spark in you, makes someone smile or feel good about themselves even.

Sharing my music with others is one of the ways I shine my light. Music is a wonderful way of navigating your way through life, uplifting you, celebrating you, validating your feelings, and making you feel good. Because I love it so much, it fills me with light too and great satisfaction knowing I have shared the light around. It motivates and inspires me to move forward in life and make the most of what I have whilst I am alive. So it’s a win-win situation really.

So many people are living unfulfilled lives because they think there is no other choice and taking the safe route.  We all have choices in the way we live our life – there is light in every one of us if we choose to see or look for it. Sometimes, simple, straightforward gestures of kindness can go a long way to helping someone else in need of some light and love, and by doing this, it can make you feel good inside too knowing you have helped someone else. It’s not rocket science and doesn’t cost a penny!

Even though we may not think of it like this, life has been given to us as a gift, a miracle, and is therefore very precious, so we must do our best to light up our life, to live our best life, as much as we can every single day. Unfortunately, we don’t have a choice in what life brings us in terms of our health, but there are ways we can improve our quality of life and happiness which does in fact have a positive impact on our health. Stress is the cause of so many health problems that it is important to keep our stress levels down as much as possible.

More importantly, we have to start taking responsibility for spreading the light within each and every one of us, and understanding that it is not someone else’s responsibility to provide light to us and anything we do receive, should be appreciated, seen as a bonus or a gift even, and never be taken for granted. And that includes our lives too. Stop focusing on what you don’t have, every minute is a chance to change your life for the better. Love and compassion for ourselves is incredibly important and crucial if you are to be able to project this out to the world around you.

Gratitude is the hardest thing to teach kids, but we have to persist with it, and as adults, it is an even harder job as generally speaking, people can become quite set in their ways when they grow older and not be willing to change their ways, their behaviour or the way they are as a person. However, us adults must, as well as the kids, be incorporating a sense of gratitude into our everyday life as we go through our day because essentially, children can learn from us. As parents, there is so much to learn about ourselves still – parenting is something we have never been taught, and we can only do the best job we can as we go along in educating our kids, and more so, in teaching them kindness and compassion to others.

Go be the person who makes someone else smile – shine your light!

 

Bring in more of what you love in your life

Are you always lacking time? Or possibly managing to squeeze some things in but other stuff gets pushed off the list and forgotten about, that stuff that means a lot to you but you push your needs down to the bottom as there just isn’t ever time to get to it. And you just get out of practice.

I experienced this with my music ie. practicing my flute. I stopped playing the flute for 20 years and then only recently in the last 3 years started playing it again, so I was out of practice at first, but decided to teach myself from books for a while to get up to scratch, where I left off at Grade 6 when I was at school, then had lessons too for a couple of years once my kids went to school, and I love it. I just can’t get enough of it. Since about 3 weeks ago, I started a new habit and told myself I would practice 10 minutes a day as I had gotten particularly slack at practicing over the past 6 months and really didn’t want to let it slide… I surprised myself and stuck to it – and it really does feel amazing being able to do what I love every day even if for a short time. What I have noticed is that some of the time I end up playing for longer than 10 minutes – it is quite addictive – which really has proved my passion for music, as well as my love for singing.

Music really has become a part of me, part of how I manage my everyday life, how I validate myself when no-one else is around to listen. I now use music as a tool to help me get through the day in the best way possible, even if it is to slow down and meditate sometimes too. There are some songs that are really heart warming to listen to, and also uplifting, depending on how I am feeling.

As I do spend a lot of time alone, I have to find ways of meeting my needs, and finding a way to express myself and be understood without needing to talk to anyone else about it is an important need of mine, we are human beings after all and need to find a healthy outlet to express ourselves.

What I have learnt over a long period of time, is that it is possible to make change, to change those habits you want to get rid of, or introduce new healthier habits to help improve your lives to focus more around you being happy, as this is really important and shouldn’t be put on the sidelines until it’s convenient.

As a mum, it’s really hard to keep trudging through life doing the same thing day in day out, the same routine, taking the kids to school, doing all the washing, cooking and cleaning. I have learnt that unless you stop doing these things for a certain period of time (even if for 10 minutes!), these chores just never seem to end, and can be very draining physically and mentally too.

Our minds need stimulation to give us energy and happiness, so it’s really important for each one of us to find that thing we love to do and do it every single day, stick it in your diary, make time for it, and then suddenly, you will find time. And maybe you will be inspired to pick another new habit you would like to practice in your life, and add that into your schedule. We all need structure in our lives and not to feel stuffy within all these seemingly closed walls around us. We must knock these walls down bit by bit, slowly one step at a time, one new habit at a time, to breathe in some fresh air, to see more clearly, to think more clearly about what it is you want to get out of life. We have been blessed with one life, so we should try to make the most of it whilst we can…

What’s your biggest fear?

Thought I would share this conversation I had with myself a few days ago….

“Fear is running riot in my head at the moment!”

“Sunday is not so far away now, the day that I have committed myself to perform in an open mike session playing 2-3 songs on my flute… ”

“Am I mad for doing this? Possibly a bit.”

“Shall I just not do it then, it’s so much easier than all of these pre-show nerves….!?”

“Well, the thing is, if I don’t do it, I won’t be able to work through that fear after all, and I might even enjoy it once I get into it! How do I know I won’t like it or be good at it if I don’t give it a try?”

“I won’t!!!!”

Stepping into the unknown is REALLY scary, but I did my best leading up to a local open mike performance I committed myself to last week (with just a few day’s notice) to keep telling myself how excited I was about it since it generates a similar kind of emotion in our body as fear (as Mel Robbins talks a lot about)…. I really needed to give my mind something to feel positive about, to reduce the negative feelings of fear. Also, another tactic Bob Baker suggests is thinking of fear as some funny character to make it not seem so scary anymore, or just associate fear with something that makes you laugh, and not to let it make itself at home in your mind….

One of my biggest fears is performing in front of an audience, worrying about whether I will say or do the right thing, perform well, and what will everyone else think of me….. The only time I have performed like this is when I was in a band at school or else performed during exam conditions. So although I was extremely nervous but at the same time, I was really excited to start making my dreams come alive and was motivated to see what is on the other side of fear if I can manage to push through it. I didn’t want to let my fear of what could happen stop me, so I took the plunge and dived right in…..

It was a really fun evening connecting with other like-minded people, musicians and singers – so much talent amongst all the women that performed on the night. Having a place where we could all express ourselves through our love for music was brilliant – I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity!

Don’t let fear dictate your life, believe in yourself and what you have been blessed with, who knows what’s on the other side? You might be pleasantly surprised.

Enjoy your own company

Alone time, especially on holiday, or any quiet time away from all the distractions around the house, the chores, the chauffeuring, the rushing about, is a perfect chance for us to really create that space in our minds to think about ourselves and our needs, whether it is to just take things at a slower pace and chill at home, pamper ourselves, go for a swim, go to the beach (if you are lucky to have one nearby), read your book, go for a walk and breathe in the fresh air outside, enjoy the sunshine, eat healthy food, listen to music, enjoy family time, paint or even just do any kind of activity you love, which can also include work especially if this is your passion… Whatever it is, just focus, and be intentional with what you are doing to make sure you are using your time wisely as best as you can. There is only a finite amount of time… we have to make the most of it whilst it lasts.

Multitasking is something as a mum I have always had to get used to doing, but it can get so overwhelming having so much to do at once. I don’t always know where to start, and as more things get added to the list, other things accidentally fall off the radar, especially if I don’t always manage to write it down on my task list. Multitasking is very draining and stressful too at times, so wherever possible, I do make a conscious effort to just focus on one thing at a time, even if the kids are around (though it is more challenging with all the interruptions and general chaos). It’s that much easier and more relaxing not having to worry about anything else but that one task, whatever it is you are trying to achieve in all areas of your life, which is why I am constantly building new little habits into my life that I can call mine and that slowly over time just become a part of me….

Time alone can be well-spent. It is a great opportunity to get to know yourself again, what your needs are in the moment and just finding that regular slot of time to fit you into the picture, to get to know you again, to validate yourself and meet your needs, even in a very small way. Even if you don’t have the luxury of alone time all the time, if you can spare a few minutes at a time during the day to focus on an activity, or just a little quiet time, anything at all. To distance yourselves from the voices around you really helps clear your mind, to hear your own voice – it does help to make you feel more calm, and bring you back to the essence of who you are, not being defined by anyone else but yourself, to help you figure out your next steps, recharge your batteries, to be able to face the music as it “plays” throughout the day.

What’s your mission?

As well as relaxing on holiday over the past week (back to reality now), I have been busy developing myself some more and have managed to read some new books, which I am really enjoying, one of which is called the Empowered Artist by Bob Baker. After ploughing through this book, which I am still working my way through, I realised my mission has evolved since I first thought about it… I have now updated my home page to reflect this.

The key thing I realised I needed to do whilst reading through the book and thinking through the “homework” questions along the way, was to define more clearly what my mission is in order to be able to set myself some clear goals, in working out what really matters to me and what kind of value I can offer to others. This can then help to guide me towards and translate into the little action steps that I will need to take to achieve my goals, which now more clearly align with my mission, to help parents and people with low energy like myself feel empowered to make positive change in their life through developing a healthy mindset, lots of self-love, good nutrition, music and language.

Have you ever thought about what kind of things you would like to achieve in your lifetime, how you might want to make a difference in some way, both to yourself and others too?

One of the key areas I will now be focusing more on every single day is my love of music, whether it is mindful listening, singing along to the radio in the car or songs on YouTube, or else, more importantly, playing my flute – just making that time during the day for each of these activities, even if for a few minutes at a time, has now become a priority and a part of who I am.

Like with my 10-15 minute exercise routine in the morning, I have decided to develop a new habit, and that is to squeeze in some regular daily flute practice, as I have gotten a bit slack the past few months and generally since my third child was born, and not kept it up as much as I would have liked. I stopped playing the flute for 18 years after I did my A-Levels, took it up again after I had my second child, and reached Grade 5 within a year of having lessons (almost to the level I was at when I was 18 years old). I don’t want to let it slide again, as I now realise I need to share this musical gift I have developed over the years, and can really use it to my advantage to make a difference somehow in the world outside of me, and not just keep it all to myself. It can be very lonely being a mum, and so I, amongst a lot of other mums out there too, often crave that opportunity for interaction with other adults. With all the rushing around and stress of being a mum managing the kids, I have found that music does really help to fill in the gaps, and gives me access to that healthy place to express myself.

Depending on my mood and energy levels throughout the day, there are certain songs I like to listen to everyday that help to remind me of my goals and who I strive to be, the authentic version of myself, and really help to motivate me and give me a boost in energy. The hope is that I can use this creativity to develop a plan of action to help others to understand the important role which music can play in their life, and the way it can really help them to grow their mindset to self-motivate, and to build self-confidence and self-esteem.

Have you ever thought about a detox?

There is so much we can do ourselves outside of seeing doctors and taking prescribed medicines and supplements. Although doctors do an amazing job which we can all be really grateful for, it’s not just about what the medical professionals say when it comes to our health. There is so much else you can do aswell.

There are so many alternative natural remedies and supplements I have tried out, bought from health food shops, pharmacies, acupuncture clinics and supermarkets for example, including herbal and Chinese remedies and homeopathic remedies too, all of which I have experimented with over the last 25 years to help alleviate my aches and pains, headaches, migraines and tummy upsets, help me sleep, give me more energy, and help me stay healthy. Acupuncture and massage has also been really therapeutic to me too, and has been a lifesaver for me over the years, especially at the times my aches and pains flare up.

Many years ago when I had Kinesiology, I tried changing my diet and detoxing from dairy, as this is what I was advised to do at the time. I didn’t find it made much of a difference but managed to do this for 3 months, including a trip to the States, which wasn’t an easy place to buy dairy free meals, but somehow I just about managed. It wasn’t worth it to cut out dairy out of my diet at the time as I simply didn’t feel the benefits of cutting it out.

Fast forward approximately 20 years, I have now mostly cut gluten out of my diet, and eat a low sugar and dairy diet, but it was all a very slow process. I started by cutting the white carbs out of my diet and switched to wholegrains instead as it was better for my gut health, and even just making this change, I noticed my tummy upsets subside. However, over time, I noticed that I had to reduce the amount of wheat generally in my diet, even if it was the healthier type, as I just didn’t feel so good after it. All that happens when I get a lot of tummy upsets, is that my back pain just gets worse. So over time, I have been on a mission to reduce the inflammation in my body, and reduce the flare ups I get from my chronic pain with Fibromyalgia. Better nutrition has been key for me in increasing my energy and losing a whole load of weight too!

Last year, I also did something called a 6 week adrenal detox through a local homeopath, Tracey W Lockwood , and although it did feel a bit slow at first, by the end, my energy had picked up some more and I felt my brain fog had cleared a bit too, which is always a good thing, as it helps me to be more productive during the day. We had to stay in contact regularly over the course of the 6 weeks as my remedies had to be changed and strengthened as time went on. Tracey was lovely to work with too, very responsive to my messages and attentive to my individual needs.

As we all get older, it is so important to look after ourselves and be sensitive to our own body’s needs in order to get the best out of life. It is hard work but you are worth the effort. We only get to live once after all…

Don’t be afraid to shine!

For those of you who are film enthusiasts, I saw the Green Book at the cinema on Saturday night, I was a bit unsure what to expect though I did hear good reviews about it.

It was a mix of a sad, heartfelt but also an uplifting film about an African-American man in the US who was a famous pianist who went on a tour of the Deep South of America, and the battles he had to encounter purely because of his race and skin colour.

Despite the hardships, challenges and hostility at that time for the black people (early 1960s), he had achieved so much for himself, but he didn’t feel like he fit in, even with his own people – he was so scared to shine his light over his own people as he thought they would judge him in a negative way purely based on the fact that he had done really well for himself. He kept himself and his true shine hidden and didn’t share it for a long time.

There was such a heartwarming moment in the film, where he finally played for a big crowd of black people in a bar he went to after being treated badly, and they absolutely loved him, his energy, his music, his gift. And only then did he realise, yeah he can do this again – and I could really feel his emotion in that part of the film, how happy he felt, more than just the regular smiles at the end of each of his performances. He could just be himself and nothing else mattered. It was quite a special moment.

So don’t be afraid to shine. The world needs your light. Don’t dim your light to make people feel comfortable

And go and see this film!