A couple of weekends ago, I went to a “Simply Self Love Day Retreat” which was held at Loudwater Farm in Rickmansworth, run by Hannah Kern who heads up a beautiful initiative called the Happiness Project.

As soon as I saw the flyer for this retreat, I knew I had to go, and in the excitement of what the day entailed, I managed to make it happen somehow and my husband looked after the kids for the day. This day retreat was and is everything I dream of doing and have been working towards over the past 3 years especially, and it was being offered to me on a platter – the whole day was jam-packed with a large dollup of TLC and absolute bliss.

The day started with drinking cacao which is like a very rich, fragrant, and somewhat bitter hot chocolate, but as I love dark chocolate and am used to the taste of it, the cacao wasn’t such a shock to my system. We drank it very slowly, and before even drinking it, we inhaled the gorgeous aromas of the chocolate mixed in with orange aswell – a great combination – and then gently and mindfully sipped it, appreciating each and every sip as we slowed down our pace in escaping our busy, and often chaotic, noisy everyday lives.  It was a great way to set the scene and get us all feeling relaxed and more energised at the start of the day.

The singing and musical improvisation which we started with, using drums alongside the guitar, was great fun. Also, I stepped out of my comfort zone and instead of singing during a couple of chants, I thought I would play my native American flute which I haven’t picked up for a few months. It sits comfortably on my windowsill at home along with my other bits of pieces (books, flowers, ornaments, card decks, candles) but I haven’t made use of it as much as I would like recently.

This retreat gave me the opportunity to ignite some light back into this special flute I bought during the pandemic whilst being inspired by American music therapist Christine Stevens. I also brought with my silver flute gifted to me by my Mum (whilst I was testing it out in the shop!) as I wasn’t sure if I would want to use it and which flute I would decide to use. I was playing it by ear, and was very grateful for the opportunity to play one of my flutes. There were over 20 in the group so it was a bit brave of me to just come out and play, but listening to my intuition, I went and just did it out of my comfort zone – and the joy and peace I felt in the moment overtook any fear or nervousness, and even better, the others enjoyed it too.

The food on display was amazing and so delicious, made with such love and care. Everything was gluten-free and vegan, so I was safe there and could eat everything which is unusual these days. It’s not always easy to get gluten-free food and I do have to plan my day carefully and always check the menu before I go anywhere. Saying that, there is much better choice of gluten-free food than there used to be, so all is good. Most of the time I don’t feel like I’m missing out and have gotten used to this diet that keeps my gut feeling happier and healthier. The frozen fruit dessert was absolutely sublime, so yummy, I will find out this recipe as I would love to make it for myself and my family. It’s something the kids might even eat – it’s always a miracle when I find meals all five of us in my family will eat, or even just the four of us. There was also Israeli salad on the menu too which you can’t go too wrong with.

We picked cards, went for a walk outside and chilled and talked with people from all walks of life, of all faiths and beliefs, with a wide range of ages too. We drank lots of interesting, healthy, detoxifying flavoured waters with three different blends containing ginger, orange, lemon, cucumber and grapefruit, and more. The setting was perfect, it was local and a lovely place to relax as there were multiple rooms and the kitchen and lounge. It was like a home away from home. The location of this farmhouse meant that we were surrounded by nature, including a lake, lots of trees and lots of birds singing away freely and happily. We were lucky with the weather as although it was cold, the sun was out for the whole day in our favour.

It was so lovely to do a Qigong class in person with Hannah Kern as until now, I’ve only really done Qigong in person at the Chakra dance retreat by Lizzie Clifford I attended almost two years ago, which is the place I was also introduced to sound baths, and in particular, a gong bath, which was one amazing sound bath! That was when I knew I had to do more of them, and this is what I’ve been doing as part of my self-care.

Self-care generally has to be planned and squeezed in – it’s a nice “to do” to add to the list instead of all the other heavy-going endless set of “to-do’s”. They don’t always have to drag you down and stress you out or overwhelm you – “to-do’s” can be fun, relaxing and energising too!

I practice Qigong online at the moment with Sheli Berger from A Daily Cup of Qi whenever I have a little bit of time here and there, and the flexibility of it being online makes it easier to fit it into my busy schedule – normally it’s the 20 minute routines that I’m drawn to and there is a short 12 minute bedtime routine too which helps me wind down after a busy day and helps to clear any anxiety or overwhelm or negative energies I might have picked up during the day too.

Back to the retreat I went to on the weekend, they then had a soundbath in the afternoon which included something different I hadn’t experienced properly before with my eyes closed shut, which was called a soundscape. I would love to know how to do this. Though I was in a deep state of relaxation and so immersed in the healing sounds of the instruments being played, crystal bowls, Himalayan bowls, chimes, drums etc, I was so tempted to open my eyes at that point to see what they were doing as there were at least 3 instruments being played that I heard at once and all the sounds sounded so beautiful blended together into one. However, I did manage to resist temptation and stay asleep as it felt so good and relaxing too; I could have stayed in that dreamy state for longer but at some point, I did have to wake up.

I was asked at the end how my experience of this day retreat compared with my expectations, and I said what I knew to be true, which was that I knew this would be an amazing event before I even got there, and especially after getting to know Hannah, her work and all that she represents.

I won’t forget this retreat in a hurry 

Photo credits to Rick Harrop

I am on a mission. I’ve been on it for a while now and the truth is I don’t know when my perfect job opportunity is coming but it feels like I’m getting closer somehow if only in terms of guidance and clarity. I hope that my prayers will be answered soon as I continue with my spiritual journey to self-discovery.

I’ve been looking on and off for a permanent part-time role since the beginning of 2023. In between, I managed to add a new wealth of experience to my portfolio that I gained from a temporary PA role (November 2023 – June 2024) at a local special needs boys’ school, and also, via some ongoing part-time freelance work as Magazine Editor of a local community magazine which is still ongoing. However, since last September, I’ve been looking again more intensely once more for a permanent part-time role which is ultimately what I want. I can’t tell you how happy it’ll make me when I don’t have to think about job hunting anymore, when I am in my ideal role.

Having said that, job hunting has for sure taken me on a rollercoaster ride of a journey, and I have to say, though rejections are difficult, especially when I’ve felt so deeply aligned to the role and organisation I have spent a lot of time preparing for, really feeling into the role as if it were mine, I have had to learn the art (and freedom) of letting go.

Interview preparation is an intense process and it always takes time to prepare, not just what you might want to say and how to persuade the interviewer that you are the right person for the job, but also, self-care preparations are necessary on the day to keep you grounded, uplifted, empowered and calm, ready for the barrage of questions that you might be asked not knowing how it’ll be until you walk into the interview room!

My latest rejection felt a little bit different. The calibre of candidates were high (I was one of them), but ultimately it boiled down to not having enough experience of being in the role that I was applying for as someone else had more experience than me. The job I applied for was another PA role, not to the Headmistress but to the SENCo of a primary school in Central London – an amazing school actually with an outstanding Ofsted, and which caters for the majority of children attending the school who have special educational needs and disabilities. They have an amazing SEND provision which I was very impressed and inspired by.

As usual, what I do when I get a rejection, is to reflect and take away any lessons learned from my interview experience and the experience preparing for the role itself, then I plan to do a soothing, energising, uplifting chakra dance meditation or else some Qigong – on the same day – which is another great release that helps me to let go and release any feelings of negativity attached, which helps me to make space for any new, exciting opportunities that might be on their way to me instead on focusing on the negative.

This time round, the rejection has really revealed to me my soul’s mission, which is what I’m really passionate about, and that is to change the face of mental health and well-being of children and adults through creativity, music and movement, and in particular, parents, and people with chronic pain and fatigue, special educational needs and disabilities, and hearing loss.

I’m a Certified Copywriter, Magazine Editor, Administrator and PA, and all-round Health, Wellbeing & Music Advocate, so please do let me know if you see any suitable opportunities that would help to serve my purpose and soul’s mission. As I said in one of my earlier blogs, my heart is leading the way this time round in my job search, so I would appreciate any guidance that could lead me to the perfect opportunity.

I also quote what I said in an earlier blog titled “Never stop dreaming“:

“I know there is a job that is meant for me, and that someone who will choose to employ me is someone who accepts me as I am with the skills and talents I have right now, someone who looks beyond my imperfections and sees the potential in me as someone they can mould to become the greatest version of myself in line with their business needs and desires, someone who can see beyond my struggles and weaknesses, someone who they can see growing and thriving in their organisation using what I have right now.”

Music has been an amazing tool to help support my spiritual growth and personal development, enhancing my creative writing skills in the process, and helping me to grow and thrive. Part of this has involved me voluntarily setting up a new local community group for women who love to sing karaoke-style and share their love of music and the sheer joy they experience whilst singing their hearts out, but also, playing my flute after an 18 year gap, playing the native American flute, and singing in two local choirs. I love to spread the joy of music to others helping people and communities to unite/thrive/grow.

Writing has also been a very important part of my healing journey too. I also love to use copywriting as a tool to enlighten and empower people to look after their own well-being, make positive, healthy change and heighten self-awareness. I love writing about things on my blog site and on social media that inspire change and bring forth transformation and healing in others. I love to put a positive spin on the stories I write and enjoy sharing my blogs – where I share my insights and journey through my life experiences – with a variety of different community groups I am a part of and my friends of course.

My life motto is this, “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up”

Have a beautiful weekend and I look forward to hearing from you soon.