Are you nurturing your soul enough?

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 9th May 2023

This job-hunting process is really testing my feeling of worthiness. However, after every stage, every application, every interview, every setback, though it does feel harsh and upsetting to start with, I am standing taller each time and getting stronger and stronger as time goes on.

At each stage, there is opportunity for growth as it propels me to keep on improving myself each time, thinking about where I might have tripped up, what I can do better next time, how I can move forward in the best possible way as it’s really the only way of giving me the best chance of manifesting the job that is right for me, which of course is a positive thing. However, it can be a real struggle, pushing through those fears and limiting beliefs at the same time, holding onto faith in self, but at the same time, not letting these rejections knock my confidence, embracing positive thoughts in knowing that there is something better out there for me at the right time, that this whole process which is filled with obstacles and hurdles is actually helping me get closer towards the job that’s meant for me.

In the meantime though, whilst the job search continues, I do have to keep looking after myself in the process – and sometimes, I am learning this too, we do need a clean break from it all too to recharge.

At the end of April, I went on a Chakra Dancing and Creative Meditation retreat for 6 nights, and it was an amazing experience. Wow, what a week it was. A wonderful new adventure for me, lots of new friendships made with more like minded people who love music and dance, a new project for me to add to my musical portfolio and a new chapter in my personal development journey.

I haven’t been away from my kids or husband this long in a very long time, so I’m very grateful to have had this time away. My kids were all ok in the end, even my youngest, though he did take a couple of days to accept that I was away and that I couldn’t look after him as I usually do. I had to make sure I didn’t call him otherwise I would cause him too much upset (after my first attempt at calling him after supper on the first night I was away). Saying that, he did send me a cute video a couple of days later saying “I want to kiss you all day” as he was missing me and “can I come home on Sunday” (which is when I was planning on coming home), so although I didn’t talk to him all week, I did receive these two videos which was nice, reassuring and lovely to receive.

Diving into the unknown without any expectations other than to have lots of fun, gain a whole new wealth of inspiration and learn how to nurture my spiritual self ie my happiest self was bliss. Time to focus on me and my wellbeing… I love this kind of stuff, learning and growing, getting more in touch with myself, allowing myself the freedom to express myself in a positive light so people around me also get the best of me.

The positive energy on the retreat was so contagious. Chakra Dancing was also so much fun!!! I was with a beautiful group of women who attended this retreat who I really connected with… Between us, we shed tears but laughed so much, and then released some more. Every day, we danced and learned new skills, we meditated, learned to create meditations ourselves, making sure we worked through all the energy centres in the body, all the 7 Chakras, that they were nourished from the bottom, the Root, all the way to the top, the Crown. Each of the chakras has their own role to play in contributing to our overall wellness – it was a magical experience. I also learned about Qigong (pronounced Chi Gong) and loved incorporating these slow flow exercises at the end of the dance routine or towards the end alongside the more calm, tranquil music.

Now, I’m working on how to incorporate everything I’ve learned on the retreat into my everyday life which is of course more of a challenge now I’m out of that “bubble” and back to reality. However, I did come back from the retreat refreshed and ready to incorporate new self-care routines into my diary.

Whilst I was out there, I realised that my journey is very clearly around sound healing, which explains my passion for music and singing, and all that has followed on from there. I also realised on this retreat that it’s been almost 6 months since I last played the flute. Somehow along the way, I’ve gotten lost in motherhood, in grief and moving house over the past year and a half, that I lost motivation to play it like I used to, and I couldn’t get back into it, though I knew in the back of my mind, I’ve never stopped loving playing this beautiful instrument and I do want to rekindle my love for the flute. So, behind the scenes, as I speak, I am taking steps to make sure I start playing regularly again. My Mum would love to hear that I’m playing, so this is a good enough reason to kick myself back into gear. It was lovely to play my Native American Sparrow Hawk flute again last week – it really does help to fill my cup up that bit more with joy, which is always very much appreciated. Playing a musical instrument is a brilliant mindful activity and a great way to unwind.

I realised also whilst away, that music isn’t just what I listen or sing to, it’s who I AM, it’s a really big part of my spiritual self, my well-being, the part of me that makes me feel whole and human and needs to be nurtured. It’s such a great outlet. Everything else is what I DO – but music is great soul food that helps to fuel my positive energy in the right direction and helps me feel a close connection with myself, think more clearly and be more productive.

Aside from playing the flute, although I haven’t really delved too much into it yet, I do find it all very fascinating how sound can heal your body, how the frequencies of sound can be incredibly relaxing and energising. I participated in a sound bath using gongs at the end of the retreat. We lay down as if we were about to meditate under a nice, cozy blanket. It was an incredible experience. I’ve never experienced anything like this – it really felt like I was having an internal massage, that I was able to breathe like I’ve not done before in such a deep way, unknotting any balls of tightness and stress as the frequencies of sound travelled up and down my body, making me feel so expansive, taking me to an amazing, peaceful place. I ended up being the last to wake up from this trance like state though I could have stayed there for ages, but at some point, I did have to wake up!

On that note, what can you do today to fill your cup, unleash your positive energy within and feel your best self?

Happy Mother’s Day

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 19th March 2023

Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day to my Mum ❤️

Feeling grateful for the Mum I’ve had and who still remains in my heart. Being a Mum myself, I can only hope, based on all that I’ve learned and experienced from my Mum, that I can continue her legacy and be guided by her good spirit in the future with my own family who I am grateful to have in my life.

It was hard to know what to do this year for Mother’s Day.

Last year, I also didn’t know what to do as Mum was so ill but I bought her some roses in case she made it through another day which she didn’t, so of course it was an extremely sad day for me. Yesterday, I don’t know why I did it, but I spent some time looking for presents on Amazon seeking something comforting I can buy that my Mum would have liked. I didn’t end up buying anything, though I did get inspired… However, this morning, I decided to scatter some dried purple roses on a heart dish near some photos of my Mum in my kitchen. It seemed like the perfect place to put them as opposed to throwing them in the bin, especially as they had all dried up. She loved the colour purple and so do I, and even though they have dried up, they are still a beautiful, rich colour. My son insisted I light two candles on Mother’s Day, so I placed one near my Mum and one for me on the other side of the kitchen.

In light of reflecting on my Mum’s memory today, I thought I’d share a poem I wrote for my Mum’s stonesetting about two weeks ago (it feels like a good day to share it):

Dear Mum,
As we look upon your picture,
Sweet memories we recall,
Of a face so full of sunshine,
And a smile for one and all.
You left us peaceful and happy memories,
That we are so grateful for.
Though we cannot see you,
Your love is still our guide,
We miss you lots and send you all our love,
You are always at our side.
If Roses grow in heaven,
Please pick a bunch for me
Thanking you for your love and beauty,
Which I carry in my heart.
For we will all never forget your presence
Your friendship, your patience,
Your compassion, your loving kindness
To make our lives worthwhile.

What are you learning

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 10th January 2023

Thinking about the essential skills that we learn as Mums, as parents, as well leading our own life, I thought I would write up all the things we can be grateful for as a way of appreciating what an important role it is we play during our lifetime in bringing up our children in the best way we can, and more so, whilst I am on a job hunt myself, to help us really appreciate the transferable skills we are learning and taking on board, and take that opportunity to celebrate ourselves and our achievements.

I don’t know about you, but I do sometimes compare my childhood back then to my kids’ childhood now, and in the process, I do have to stop myself as things are very different now. The challenges we are facing now with all this extra technology in the mix does make parenting a tough one as we really are dealing with a whole new generation of kids with much higher expectations. Having to navigate our way through it all “on the job” means we are always learning by experience and sometimes accidentally take a wrong turning or hit obstacles, but the key is to get back on track, to breathe and start afresh. With all the extra pressure kids themselves face at school, it is also tough for them too. At the same time though, we do still have all the other usual stuff to digest and tackle as parents so now it’s time to really appreciate the job you do and how amazing you really are:

  • As well as managing our kids’ social calendar, timekeeping and logistics, not forgetting the housework, we are ultimately responsible for managing their health, education and nutrition, including any related appointments (online or face to face) at school and after school hours.
  • We get to build great experience in multi-tasking, juggling different demands and deadlines on a daily basis, being proactive, setting priorities and paying good attention to detail.
  • We get to improve, develop and refine our organisational and people skills as we become responsible for organising yearly events including birthday parties and special family functions which can involve any number of people.
  • We get to develop a “can do” but at the same time, flexible attitude, especially with any last-minute changes that may arise and devising a new plan normally with little notice.
  • We are ultimately the best advocates for our children, and we do our best to make sure their educational, physical and emotional needs are met, though sometimes we can be met with obstacles.
  • As a parent, we have plenty of opportunity to develop the ability to engage and communicate with a wide range of audiences (for eg. teachers, SENCO, healthcare professionals, local council) depending on the needs of the child. We do this using different mediums, which allows us to practice good writing skills, exercise diplomacy and build trusted relationships.
  • We also get to develop a higher level of resilience in ourselves whilst managing different behavioural issues, whilst at the same time, being consistent in how we teach our kids to grow up to become good human-beings, especially when they transition into secondary school and beyond.

During my time as Mum and due to the nature of the role, I have grown to become more proficient in managing my own self-care (as best as I can!) and love to encourage others to follow suit as this is so important. I am always doing my best to improve myself and my daily habits to be the best version of myself I can be.

Although everything isn’t perfect and rosy all the time, everything that needs to happen always does need scheduling, even if it is self-care time, so my diary does need to be updated and looked at often to remind myself of the to-do’s. Ultimately, if I don’t make things happen, they don’t always happen naturally and time just disappears. Time is so precious, we must make it count as no-one knows what tomorrow holds.

There is a lot of stuff to take on board, and maybe you have more to add to the mix too?

Once you have taken some time to reflect, now we can take some time to stop and appreciate ourselves and all that we do along with all the beauty and love that surrounds us. Everything always feels much better once we have taken the time to stop, breathe and experience life as it is in the present and letting go of everything else for a short while – you can always get back to your to-do list later on.

Enjoy your day.

All you need is love

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 28th November 2022

I have recently discovered the author Christie Barlow through subscribing to Kindle Unlimited. So far, I have been reading individual books and not necessarily been drawn to a particular author for too long, and books normally can take a while to plough through as I read 10-20 minutes here and there when I can in between everything else. I do incorporate reading into my bedtime routine when I can though I do have to sometimes choose between reading and meditating as there isn’t always enough time (or energy!) left in the day to do both.

There are a whole series of rom-com books she writes all based (so far from what I’ve read) in the Scottish Highlands. I’m now on book number 3 and getting quite addicted!

“Love Heart Lane” is the first book in the series.

There are 12 books in total in this particular series so it will keep me occupied for a while – they are great escapist novels, and a fab way to switch off from the “to do” list of your day, especially with some relaxing music in the background with headphones. I really like the realness of the characters and how down to earth they are. As I work my way through the books, I feel like I am getting to know the amazing community of people that live there in this small village.

It is essentially a romance novel but which also really focuses on that sense of community love and spirit aswell, and how they all help each other in tough times. It’s an uplifting read especially when you see the light starting to shine at the end of the tunnel with the presence of love and community support, all helping them to work through some serious stuff as well as family and relationship issues we may at some point experience too in everyday life. We see how love (alongside hope and positivity) just melts them all away. It’s a novel that gives you that “cosy” feeling, but also, at the same time, the characters are so relatable…

The stories are really enlightening as they are also about how the characters chase their dreams whether it’s a particular romance or new business they want to set up to help bring that extra joy into their life that they need whether it be in memory of someone much loved who recently passed away or else to provide that much needed distraction from the mundanity of everyday life and more importantly, that feeling of self-worth, happiness and excitement inside.

Look at the endless possibilities

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 9th September 2022

I started a painting class this week run by the Art Hub LDN. I wasn’t sure what to expect as even though I am musical, I don’t really see myself as an artist, so I went to the class with the main aim of relaxing, taking that time out that I need to ground myself and dive into increasing my creativity. And of course bringing more joy into my day and starting a new creative habit on a Wednesday morning.

Now the kids are back at school, it gives me time to reassess things and work out how to prioritise tasks during the course of the day. It is tough as there is still a lot of “life admin” and household chores, and it is a challenge to reduce the amount of time and energy they get to consume. However, this year, my two kids are now getting the school coach every morning, so I have some more time and energy on my hands in the morning, which is an added bonus after a long summer!

Change is inevitable whilst I look for more balance, as I embrace this somehow, I have to test the water, seeing what works well and fits into my routine to give me what I need and some more fulfilment….

Anyway, one of the exercises I set out to do in my art class was to paint a repeated pattern in watercolours. It could be a letter, a shape, any kind of squiggle I liked, but I had to paint it over and over again in “cold colours” which basically cover all the darker, deeper colours, blues, purples, greens, or else “warm colours” which cover all the yellows, oranges, reds etc, all those bright colours that normally fill me up with sunshine.

Not sure why, but because I was new, I just started with the darker, “cold” colours, and then as the painting progressed, I realised I should have started with the “warm” colours but there was nothing I could do about it. The painting was darker than I wanted it by the end of the first exercise. Already I was judging myself!

So off I went on a mission to add some speckles of light using some “warm” colours to my picture to make me feel happier about what I was doing. Once that had dried properly, I then went on to use Sharpies over the picture I had painted. I was just following instructions and guidance… I didn’t know what I was going to do with the Sharpie pens but I started drawing hearts in silver as this is a shape I like drawing, my “go-to” shape when I do art. I liked the silver as it was a light colour that stood out nicely amongst all the dark colours, so I drew different sized hearts across the page, which turned into heart balloons.

I then got out my yellow pen and filled in the white bits round the edges and inside the picture to fill it up with specs of sunshine wherever I could. Then I got stuck… It was suggested to me that I experiment with a black Sharpie, which I resisted for a few minutes, as I didn’t want it to ruin what I’d painted and already thought my painting was on the darker side.

Anyway, I started out using a navy pen, as navy is softer than black and would ease me into black later on. I started by drawing in navy the shapes I could see on the painting, and really surprised myself. I loved this activity, because as I progressed through this task, as I drew shapes, I began to see more and more shapes – it was fascinating, and before I knew it, my 2 hours of art time was up, but I still had more to do as the painting wasn’t finished.

Being the perfectionist I am, I had to finish it when I got home otherwise the momentum would get lost and I might not finish it. I didn’t like that thought of leaving things unfinished. So I was brave and chose a black Sharpie pen at home in the end and continued drawing shapes to cover the whole picture.

It’s amazing how lost I got, in a positive way of course, just finding and drawing shapes within what was essentially a simple watercolour painting. It was all very unexpected and a very calming experience. An hour later, I finished it, and felt better about it all – task accomplished!

My journey back to faith

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 29th August 2022

These past five months have been a real challenge for me, probably the most difficult time of my life, just trying to navigate my life as it is now without my Mum…..

Some things have gotten easier of course, like the initial shock, but the intense feelings of sadness and loss don’t really go away, so it is a job in itself trying to manage it all. I do have to go easier on myself when I can and squeeze little pockets of time for myself to settle my nerves, my anxiety, my emotions, especially when things get too much.

A lot has happened these past few months alongside losing my mum, covid, moving house – plus also organising my daughter’s Batmitzvah party and celebrations which has now been and gone which thankfully went really well… so it’s all been a real rollercoaster ride.

Now aswell, we’ve had the school holidays since the end of July, so it’s been full on with the kids keeping them all entertained, playing taxi service getting them to camp, their friends’ houses for playdates, taking them shopping and to their activities. Then, because there’s a bit more breathing space without all the school runs, there is generally a bit more time at home, so it’s been a good time to declutter last year’s stuff, books, uniform, and for us, the house in general as we are still unpacking from the move. It’s a slow process… I’m also organising all my “old school” paper photos that I used to always get printed out from my local pharmacy (or Dad’s pharmacy) after every holiday or birthday celebration once the roll of film was finished. It wasn’t quite so easy to just click on “delete” like we do now when we’ve taken a bad photo!

It really is very hard to just SLOW DOWN… So much to do still but at least the hot weather has forced us to slow down a bit at least; we’ve had an amazingly hot summer this year in the UK.

Fortunately though, I did manage to go away for some quiet time a few weeks ago for two nights – my husband treated me to a trip to the spa whilst he went away to Brighton with the kids (we have also just come back from Tenerife which is where the photo above was taken).

Though I love my kids, I definitely got the better deal… As you can imagine, this mini break was the perfect opportunity to just “be” and connect with myself again, with those things that make me feel calm, at ease, and good inside so I can get back to feeling my more aligned, calmer and happier self.

Whilst I was there, I felt the urge to follow my natural instincts and start writing again. I haven’t really written much in the past few months, over which time I’m sure I’ve been bottling a lot up inside subconsciously. It does feel like the right time to get back into my writing habit, to get out of my own head and put “pen to paper”. My Mum always loved reading what I wrote online which gives me good reason to pursue this.

I have an interesting story to tell to start with…. When I went down for breakfast one morning whilst I was away and told the waiter my room number, number 99, he told me an interesting fact and weird coincidence, that no one ever stays in my room though housekeeping cleans it everyday…. Bizarre right? So I looked up the number to find out what this all might mean. I had been thinking beforehand about how I might be able to communicate with my Mum on a spiritual level, especially as I don’t have the luxury of talking to her whenever I want anymore. However, this number and sign felt reassuring to me that there might be a way through this – it felt like I had her approval by taking that time out at the spa to be still and have that quiet time I needed. It felt like I was moving in the right direction.

I’ve really struggled getting back into being creative again over the past few months, whether it’s with my music or art, but I did start to use my creativity again in the garden about 6-7 weeks ago whilst I’d been planting new things and moving some other bedding plants around to make it look how I wanted it, plus I tidied up some other flowers and took out all the dead leaves and cutting them down a bit. Another form of decluttering, but it did feel quite calming whilst outside, especially in the quiet of the night after my youngest was in bed. I normally leave gardening mostly to the gardener, so I don’t think I did too bad a job all things considered.

It was lovely when the flowers started to grow, especially the red geraniums which really loved the sunshine, and the begonia’s too after I moved them under the rose bush in a more shaded area. It really felt like an achievement to see their growth, and pretty flowers always make me feel brighter. It was also nice to see our tomato plant growing really nicely – they really do love the sunshine too, and it gives my 6 year old son joy to point out to me the tomatoes that have ripened – he now knows to only pick the red ones! We had a few strawberries grow aswell which was nice but we didn’t have quite as many of these and as soon as they grew, they were consumed very quickly…

It seems that in life, especially when things aren’t going quite so well, where there is pain and sadness especially, we do have to focus even more on what we can control, to keep looking for a positive way through it all, continuing day by day to heighten self-awareness, to make sure we do those things that light us up that give us the fuel and energy to enjoy life in the moment. Life isn’t easy and everything happens to us for a reason though we don’t always know why. So instead on focusing on the pain, we need to look out for all the things we can be grateful for by having this experience – lessons are here to be learned and taken on board to be able to move through life in the best possible way.

It’s time to make that choice to enjoy our life whilst we are alive, to live in the moment, to be conscious of what makes you feel good and make that a way of living, and along the way, being gentle with yourself, taking one day or step at a time, so that we are able to discover new, exciting things in life and be guided in the direction of love, compassion and inspiration.

As Dalai Lama said, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive”.

The calm after the storm

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 31st May 2022

After a tough couple of months, now some calm has resumed (aside from some major roadworks taking place near where I live making school runs very difficult and car journeys long), I can start to catch my breath a little bit…

With self-compassion and lots of rest and relaxation where possible, I am slowly recovering and getting more of my energy back whilst my body and mind have been processing the loss of my Mum, Covid (which I caught a week after my Mum died), all the “usual everyday family stuff”, preparing for Passover, and then climbing my last big hurdle of moving house, finally settling down in our new home which me and my family hope to stay in for many years to come. Hopefully, we can put the difficulties faced in the past 13 months behind us and look forward to all the exciting things to come.

Slowing down hasn’t been an easy task with so much overwhelm, but over time, whilst I piece together some of the puzzle pieces of my life, music and singing is playing an important part in helping me to start feeling more myself again as I continue my weekly choir sessions, and I also started recently organising some karaoke nights out too with friends. Focusing on the positive things I can do for myself to get my energy and strength back is a big help, as I know this is where I am happiest, when I am feeling strong and energised.

Pacing myself each day seems to be the only way to get through it all, with the support of my family too. Accepting that I was unable to get back to “normal” straight away was a big adjustment to make especially when there was so much to do and think about already.

Grief is a new experience for me so I do have to go with the flow and listen to what my body is telling me. Bottling up my emotions does me no good, as for everyone else too – all that happens is that it just stays stored in your body and causes anxiety, stress or pain.

Releasing emotions in a healthy way is always a good thing. I am still on a steep learning curve in learning to deal with those “big emotions” which I’m told should get easier over time as I find better ways to cope, and hopefully over time, I can find more positive ways of releasing those emotions and frustrations trapped inside my body and channel those energies into something good. I am slowly getting back to playing my flute more often than I have been which feels great. I must pick up my paintbrushes soon too as I know first hand creativity is a great calming outlet.

Since my mum passed away, it’s like I’m missing a part of me, it’s hard to explain… But even though I can’t physically see her, I can still at least feel her presence within me, her love sprinkled around me, watching my every step in how I go about my life now, songs I hear on the radio that she used to love, flowers I love to buy, little reminders of all that she loved – and using my heart’s intuition, I try my best to stay connected within myself where I can and cherish those happy memories I had with her whilst she was alive.

 “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Look inside

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 20th May 2022

I had a conversation with my daughter this afternoon after pick up about strawberry Yoyos, a dried rolled fruit snack that kids love in the UK, and thought I’d make a little tale about it as I thought it was a meaningful way to end the day and start the weekend.

I had two packets. My youngest who is 5 wanted the perfectly packaged one and really didn’t want the crumpled one, so I asked my 10 year old to have the crumpled packet as I thought she could handle this as she was the older one, and does it really matter now it looks on the outside if it’s the same shape and texture on the inside.

She wasn’t happy about it as she thought it would be all crumpled and ruined on the inside, but I showed her when I opened it that it was just the packaging that was crumpled on the outside – everything else was perfect and whole inside. She then smiled and finally understood me.

Moral of the story: Don’t judge how things look on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts most ❤️

Mums are something special

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 7th April 2022

In honour of my Mum who sadly passed away on the 26th March after a long 10 year battle with Motor Neurone disease, and as it’s my birthday today, I thought I would reflect on what I can be grateful for on this precious day and celebrate the miracles:

– Being born to a mum who showed me so much love, compassion and kindness over the years, and her love, support and guidance has made me who I am today. Without her, I wouldn’t have been born…

– The joy she brought to my life, the happy memories before she was ill, the fun, the laughter, the shopping trips, family time and holidays.

– Even during the time she was ill, she was still amazingly positive despite all the physical challenges she had to face, the emotional hardship and frustration at every new stage of deterioration that she had to learn to accept and adapt to over the years. She had such a strong, resilient mind and a positive spirit inside of her, right until very near the end, and I’m grateful for the time I was able to spend talking to her as much as I did. She always loved hearing what we were all up to, she loved all her grandchildren so much too and loved hearing about their tales and what they get up to at school and outside activities too.

– She was a great support for me the past year especially whilst we were house hunting which was a year-long process. I’m so glad me and my family got to celebrate with her when we finally exchanged on our new house only a few weeks ago. She was so happy, we were all so relieved the worst of it was over and now we could start getting excited about the move, and she shared that joy and excitement with us.

– My Mum also enjoyed playing bridge, and one of her good friends told me she played bridge online even just using the one working finger until the last possible moment she could. She really fought until the very end.

– It was a miracle, she managed to survive the pandemic and not catch covid, so I had more time to spend with her. Even in the days I would go round and talk to her through the window, she still remained so positive. Lockdown was hard for us all, but really for my mum, this is what her life was like on a daily basis, especially when it wasn’t easy to go out much anymore and she was very much housebound. I am however really grateful that Mum had such good carers (and my Dad too of course) and also for the friendship that she built with them, and the new styles of cooking she got to taste and experience which made life a bit more interesting – they were all from a variety of countries, Somalia, Russia, Hungary and the UK.

– My Mum had such a generous nature. She always loved taking me shopping for clothes when I was younger, and we often made a day of it and ate lunch out. Even during the beginning stages of the disease, when she was independent enough still and using the scooter, I remember going shopping with her to M&S, and I remember she bought some purple flowers, some for her but also some for me too – it gave her such joy to give them to me. Purple is one of my two favourite colours and I love flowers too.

– It is such a hard thing to lose control over your whole body that it’s made me feel even more grateful for what I have and the importance of looking after yourself and enjoying life whilst it lasts. My Mum loved going to the spa – when I was 18, she took me to Champneys, which I enjoyed then and even now, I do love a nice spa break and the pampering that goes along with that. She always took pride in how she looks, going to the hairdresser every week in the traditional way women used to do, putting on make-up most days, wearing nice, smart clothes, getting her nails done, all of which I now realise was all part of her own self-care.

– Especially when it was hard to talk to her over the phone, music became a way I used to connect with her on the days I wasn’t able to see her. I am grateful for the encouragement my mum gave me playing the flute, writing, learning languages, to do all those things that inspired me despite my challenges with hearing loss. She always managed to say the right thing to make me feel good. My mum did also love listening to a variety of different music – more so classical and opera – though I never remember her playing an instrument.

– I am grateful for my Mum’s positive spirit that will always live inside of me and will never be forgotten. She always managed a radiant smile even though things were getting really tough for her. She was very much like her Mum, my Nana, who enjoyed the simple pleasures in life and had a big heart.

What can you be grateful for today?

 

 

 

 

 

Have you completed your stress cycle?

Posted by: Sara Benveniste Posted on: 28th February 2022

This year, I decided to pick the word Healing as the word that’ll be my “power word” for the year as this is the year I feel I need to really focus on all that I need to do to heal my body from all the chaos, pain and stress from last year, as I realise now that stress takes a big toll on how my body feels, how much pain I am in and how overwhelmed and unproductive it can make me feel if I don’t pay attention to it enough.

Therefore, I have been creating space for myself to heal the past few months, and in doing so, I am making a conscious effort wherever possible to not overwhelm myself so much, which for me as a Mum, is a very easy habit to slip back into…

I’ve recently re-read the audible book called “Burnout” and it’s been really interesting listening to it all over again on my car journeys to and from school (without the kids in the car of course!). Part of the reason why my pain lessens when I do certain creative or self care activities is because I am completing the stress cycle… We all hold a lot of stress within our body from all of life’s stresses and challenges that come upon us, which can cause pain. I know have a constant need to release and “complete” my stress cycle…. But due to my long “to do lists” and not always making myself a priority enough, I don’t always release it as and when I need it. This is however in working progress!

With this in mind, I have been looking to find more ways to improve my energy levels, to fill my cup with more joy, self-fulfilment and nourishment, to propel myself through this year which will also be a busy, stressful one, but ways to positively push through and making myself more of a priority and not letting my wellbeing slip by the wayside.

Creativity is something I have decided to make more of a priority as I really feel that there are strong, powerful links between your wellbeing and how creative you are as a person. I have felt recently called to focus on how I can explore my creative self, which can include 10-15 minute blocks of random musical improvisation on my flute, a series of weekly flute workshops, singing in my weekly Rock Choir group, as well as keeping up my passion for writing. I have also been exploring my artistic skills in signing up to a new membership group “Tend your heart” (see my last blog “What’s the story morning glory“). Just creating little routines that I can look forward to and which help to energise my mind and body, getting me that bit closer to my desires for my future, and stepping into that “being” that I want for myself in the future, claiming that for myself right now in this moment.

“If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining” (Quote by Guy Finley)