How much do you love yourself?

I bet some of you are cringing now thinking what on earth am I asking that question for, this isn’t something people normally ask themselves or other people even, or maybe this question sounds strange to you and makes you feel uncomfortable in some way…. My guess is that a lot of you are probably thinking in your head “We can’t surely love ourselves, love is reserved for something or someone else!”

Studying my own mind has been so fascinating to me on my journey of personal growth and development, and based on personal experience, I don’t feel that this practice of self-love should only be restricted to people who are struggling with their mental health. Everyone can benefit from and is deserving of self-love!

Here is one of the main myths that simply isn’t true when it comes to self-love:

LOVING YOURSELF IS SELFISH.

You know what, it is selfish, but it’s the good kind!!! People often view selfishness in a negative light but it can be a good thing too to make sure your needs are covered too in a positive sense as well as other people’s.

The truth is that love for ourselves is so incredibly important – we mustn’t neglect our true selves and our everyday needs and desires to be loved and feel joy and happiness, it’s so easy to let it slide… It’s not wrong to prioritise your own needs. When we give ourselves the love we are deserving of, then we are able to feel more calm and give more love to those around us, and we have a bigger capacity for joy in our heart so we can experience life in a happier, more productive light, and which simply flows better.

When we sacrifice our own needs and always put other people’s needs and desires before our own, over time, once this has become a habit, we begin to forget about our own needs and somehow lose our connection to our real self and life doesn’t always flow in the way we want. This doesn’t feel good, especially when your health, happiness and well-being are at stake and can present itself in the form of anxiety and low energy all round.

Everyday, and not as a one off, we should be making self-love a priority as part of our routine and go about our daily lives making sure we look after ourselves, a couple of minutes at a time even, finding ways of making sure we are attending to and validating our needs, our desires and our emotions.

Self-love is about really connecting with yourself, tuning into your emotions, making your happiness a priority, even when things aren’t quite going your way – it is about finding those ways to increase that positive flow of energy within you that makes you feel comforted, supported and loved. It is more than just how you present yourself on the outside – it is about having a conscious awareness of the daily moments in life and how you can tune back into love in the decisions you make as you navigate your way through the day. It really is how you feel about yourself, even on both good and especially on bad days.

Through prioritising love for yourself, it helps to brighten your perspective of the world around you and helps guide you towards solutions and decisions that work best for you, that fit well within your version of life, the way you want to lead and shape your life. It helps give you more clarity of mind and calm, which is super important if you are someone who leads a hectic life and who gets easily overwhelmed.

“The wound is where the light enters you” quote by Rumi springs to mind here…. There is so much truth in this, you really do learn through the discomfort you feel and more importantly, through proactively taking those next steps necessary to help you to snap out of those discomforting, anxious feelings and low energy that negativity brings.

It doesn’t have to cost the earth, there are little ways you can validate and love yourself without breaking the bank. It could involve listening to a piece of music that aligns with how you are feeling, you might want to run yourself a relaxing bath with your favourite bubble bath and light some candles, do a high impact workout or maybe some stretching exercises, pamper yourself, drink a cup of tea in peace, eat a piece of dark chocolate, dance, sing, treat yourself to some flowers or clothes. You might need to go for a walk in the fresh air, have a much needed nap, slow down and breathe, or perhaps you may want to listen to some guided meditation or read a book. Time out isn’t just reserved for children, we all need time out during the day to help make ourselves feel that bit more refreshed to help you get through the rest of the day. It really doesn’t have to take any more than 10 minutes at a time if you have little time to spare.

Remember, you are worth making that time – go grab it whilst you are thinking about it, plan it in your diary, otherwise it’ll probably never happen… There is no time like the present when it comes to taking inspired action!

Life is full of curves and imperfections, just like us too, and the best thing we can do is embrace it all. None of us are perfect! Learn to recognise those imperfect moments, you can always choose love again. Once we learn to accept this, we can then look for the lessons in all of it, look for the opportunities that these imperfections have taught us, and go focus on that opportunity, that lesson, rather than what is not working, and take tiny steps towards reaching those opportunities, mingling with like-minded people that can help motivate you, taking up a new hobby or reigniting your passion for an old hobby even, introducing some new, healthy habits to nourish your mind, body and soul, all of which helps you to feel more energised, more uplifted and more loved inside.

Make embracing your happier self a habit and see how it changes your perspective.

Make the choice to feel good. Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life ❤️

Sara Benveniste

Sara is a mum of 3 and also a Mindset & Wellness coach. and through personal experience, helps people with low energy and chronic fatigue develop a healthier, more positive and creative growth mindset, and at the same time, nourish their mind, body and soul through self-love, good nutrition, music and mindfulness. She is also a linguist, and loves learning foreign languages, including French, Spanish and Italian, playing the flute and listening to music.

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